Got
this email from a "reader" who wanted to comment about my latest
episode of "Tom On the Job":
"Remember when you said Susan Boyle was
an example that "ugly people" could sing. Seeing your picture
at the alligator farm it was hard to tell which one was the 700 pounder. I
guess this shows that "fat people" can be writers and
even father children. Change your last name, you are a disgrace to the
Italian-Americans most of whom are slim hard bodies. Lose some weight.
Peter
- 175 lbs and a 16" neck that doesn't go from my ears to my chest. "
Thanks
Peter for that inspiring email.
For the record...
...never said "Susan Boyle was an example that "ugly
people" could sing."
...the 700 pounder is the alligator to clear up any confusion.
...thank you for admitting that I am a role model for fat people
that want to be writers and father children. It means a lot.
...it is true that most of us Italians are slim hard bodies. If you head
to the old country it's like an ad for Joe Atlas. Just oiled up adonis' on
every corner. Have to drive around them most times. They're just everywhere. No
fat people at all.
...congratulations on your 16" neck. You must be very proud.
Again, thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot in these
troubled times.
Tom
So, the green one is the gator, right?
I find it amusing that Peter decided to email Tom. Instead of doing the things that I am sure Peter normally does each day (i.e. taking care of his family, going to work, beating up fat kids, sticking his head up an animal's rectum, lifting weights, or drinking protein shakes) he found the time to try to belittle someone. I applaud Peter. He is a model citizen and human being. He and his 16inch neck and 175lb body which just exudes erotic connotations. I for one am very thankful he let Tom know some of his dimensions. Not that their is anything wrong with it, but in case Peter isn't aware Tom is married and is very committed to his wife and baby on the way.
By the way, Peter, did you know that fat people all over the world are having and fathering babies. It is a crazy sick epidemic. I suggest you start a petition to put an end to this atrocity.
I think my favorite part of his email to Tom was the part when he told him to change his name because he was a disgrace to Italian-Americans for not having a hard slim body. If Peter is reading and would like I could give him the emails of other Big Italian American's (i.e. James Gandolfini, Vincent Pastore, Steve Schirripa, Joseph Gannascoli) of whom I think would love to hear how they too should stop being a disgrace to other Italian Americans and change their last name and how they should not father children. Actually a direct quote from Steve Schirripa is that "Fat guys work too." I recommend Peter tells him that fat guys may work too, but that they shouldn't. I think that would work well for him.
Maybe the next time Peter decides to send an email trying to make up for his own short comings he should call a psychiatrist and really try to work through those self esteem issues. I don't know if it would help, but at least others wouldn't have to deal with your ignorance.
First of all, Tom is a big fat "bastid", but I mean that in the best possible way.
Second, skinny Italians are an epidemic. Something to do with all Italian mothers being terrible cooks.
Of course, I am a sarcastic "medium sized bastid" who will be happy to compare dimensions with anyone. ;-)
Love you Tom!
LOL...Pete is a little proud of his neck size! What a tool.
Sounds like Peter is a wee bit peeved about Tom's success. It's okay Peter, I'm sure someone thinks you're just as special: like your mother.
And as for his 16" neck size...really? who the heck measures their neck? Seriously?
Tom rocks!