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I'm going to stray a little off topic here for a minute but not that far. This has been a pretty strange week in the world.
 
First up, Perez Hilton. If you haven't heard, the uber-blogger got himself in a bit of a scuffle this week in Canada with Will.i.Am of the Black Eyed Peas.
 
Quick recap: Hilton was apparently ripping Will on his Web site. The Black Eyed Pea was none too thrilled and confronted Hilton. Hilton, in retaliation said some nasty things including a certain homosexual slur. Mayhem broke out and Hilton was punched.
 
Here is where it gets interesting. Hilton claims he got the black eye from the Pea. Will.i.Am says it was a random person that hit him. The band's manager, Polo Molina, has since been charged in the attack.
     
And while Hilton might have had a legitimate beef, it was his tactics to obtain justice that draw his character into question.
     
Instead of calling the police, Hilton took to Twitter. "I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards," Hilton tweeted. "I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke."
     
Yup, instead of dialing 911, the blogger decided it was a much better idea to pull out his cell phone -- the same cell phone he could have dialed 911 from -- and tweet.
     
Regardless of which side you take here, this is a prime example of Internet abuse. For Hilton, who has over a million followers, a Twitter call for help resulted in hundreds of calls to local police asking them to help. Not to mention the fact that all signs point to Hilton's instigation of the incident. If I go to a bar and begin insulting another patron, I can expect that some fisticuffs might ensue.
     
But I guess you wouldn't expect someone who draws dirty things on AP photos for a living to get that.
 
   

There's nothing better than a good comedy and beginning this weekend you'll have the chance to see a great one.
    
Some people know director/producer Todd Phillips as the driving force behind the Will Ferrell/Vince Vaughn vehicle, "Old School." I can guarantee you that after people see "The Hangover," he'll be known a lot more.
     
"The Hangover" is a new take on the typical road trip comedy. Four friends set off to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. Craziness ensues. Our cast is left to deal with the aftermath. The aftermath in this case however involves a stolen police car, a tiger, a chicken, Mike Tyson and a prostitute. Oh, and one of the gang has gone missing.

Let me begin by saying I am in no way, shape or form, a Trekkie.
    
I have never seen an episode of any of the television series' nor have I caught a minute of the previous five "Star Trek" films. I am about as unbiased when it comes to the franchise as you can get.
     
With that in mind, I urge you to head to the theaters this weekend to see J.J. Abrams' latest masterpiece.

Enough about Susan Boyle!
 
I'm over it. Please stop writing stories about her.
 
Yes, I get it. She's a good singer. Guess what? Ugly people have been able to sing in the past. Odds are they will in the future.
 
Associated Press? Do we really need a story every time Boyle changes her clothes? Boyle dyed her hair? We need a story! She put on a leather jacket? We need a story!
 
Boyle even made her way onto the most recent episode of "South Park," when Kyle's little brother Ike leaves a note stating that if he hears about her one more time, he would vomit something out of his mouth. (Can't print what that is. Go watch the episode.)
 
So please, Susan, I know you can sing. We all know you can sing. The clock has struck 15, go away.

Well, let's start this column off with some updates from last week's column.
 
First up, Michael Vick's reality show concept has been put down.
 
"Any speculation of Mike doing a reality show is false," Vick's agent Joel Segal told NFL.com. "He has no interest in that. Absolutely false."
 
Sure, that's what you tell the NFL because you don't want to seem like you're profiting off something for which you are supposedly apologetic. Rumor is the real reason behind the denial is that no one is interested.

Of course. That's really all there is to say about the news that Michael Vick is talking to producers about an "unscripted" reality program detailing life after his July 20 release from prison.
    
Vick, the former Atlanta Falcons quarterback, is serving a 23-month sentence for dogfighting.
 
The proposed series would follow Vick as he tries to "make amends for his past." No word yet on if this really is going to happen, how much money we're talking about and what, if any, network this would air on.
 
According to the Hollywood Reporter, more than one source has joked that "It sure won't be on Animal Planet."
 
I am completely sick of all this garbage. Whoever said that crime doesn't pay certainly didn't live in the world of reality television?
 
Kill some dogs? We got a show for you. Strangle a prostitute and become a heroin addict (Tom Sizemore)? We got a show for you. Crackhead? More than a few opportunities out there for you to get your 15 minutes. Give birth to more than six kids? Head over to TLC, the holy-crap-how-did-you-get all-those-kids network.

It used to be that winning the lottery was the American get-rich-quick scheme. Now, everyone's out to find their hook. "I'm a bounty hunter so someone should follow me with a camera." "I'm a cop. We should get a bunch of D-List celebrities to follow me around and I'll teach them to be cops."
 
In 2001, there was a little independent film called "Series 7."
 
In the film, six people are chosen at random and pitted against each other in a fight to the death. Last man, woman or child standing wins their freedom. Are we that far away from the shameless, fame-hungry society that's depicted in the film? I'm not so sure.

The ripples from the new "Star Trek" film are already being felt throughout the halls of Paramount Pictures even though the movie doesn't hit screens until May 8.
 
The studio has already hired writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, two of the minds behind "Lost" as well as the creators of the Fox hit "Fringe," to write the sequel along with "Lost" co-creator Damon Lindelof.
 
J.J. Abrams' will return to produce what will be the 12th film in the franchise.

Speaking of "Lost," Mark Pellegrino, who played Rita's abusive ex on "Dexter," has been cast in a pivotal role according to Entertainment Weekly.
 
No confirmation on who this pivotal character might be but he will turn up in the season finale and quite possibly in a 1970's flashback. Who is Pellegrino playing? My money is on a young Jacob.

Beam me up, Hulu.

I've never led off this column with a bit about commercials, but that impressive streak is now over.

Lately, every commercial, Super Bowl or otherwise, seems intent on making us laugh. Problem is few are actually capable of inducing the appropriate response. But I have to tell you, I am seriously impressed with Hulu's latest ad campaign.
 
Hulu, is an online portal that carries anything from TV shows like "Family Guy," "House," and "The Daily Show" to feature films.
 
My first exposure to the campaign was Alec Baldwin's spot during February's Super Bowl. Baldwin, seemingly channeling the character he plays on NBC's "30 Rock," Jack Donaghy, warns of a new alien plot by Hulu to rot our brains through television.
 
Since that initial commercial, Hulu has followed up with Eliza Dushku of Fox's "Dollhouse." Warning us that Hulu would "simmer your head meat down to a bubbling, brainy fondue," Dushku hawks the online site with a snake-like tongue that furthers the alien concept. (Oh yeah, Baldwin had tentacles.)
 
And while I enjoyed Hulu's campaign to this point, it wasn't until this latest ad featuring "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane with a candy-eating stomach monster that I saw the sheer brilliance behind it.
 
Hulu hasn't just created a truly funny ad campaign. They've peered into the current state of pop culture itself. I know some still don't have cable or watch TV, but the great majority of us are hooked and the online TV "mothership" knows it.
 
We've come a long way since "rabbit ears." Gone are the days when you couldn't go out because your favorite show was on that night. We have DVR and Tivo now. And Hulu is simply embracing the next step in this evolution which is online, on-demand broadcasting of any show, anywhere. And let's face it, that kind of technology could have only come from, well, outer space.

As a general rule, the first three months of the year are generally the dog days of film. Instead of blockbusters and wonderfully crafted pieces of art, we're stuck with the "Paul Blarts" and "Pink Panthers" of the industry.
    
I am writing this week to assure you that there is a light peeking out of the end of the tunnel of garbage we've been muddling through. So before you waste your weekly allotted entertainment budget on "Fired Up!," take a peek at what's around the corner.
     
Here are the 15 movies you should be salivating over in 2009:
   

Fanboy's long-time nemesis, Jimmy Fallon, made his return to the airwaves this week.
 
Now occupying the 12:35 a.m. spot once held by Conan O'Brien, Fallon debuted his "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" on NBC with guests Robert De Niro and Van Morrison.
 
I was contemplating doing a full review but a two-word one will do: excruciatingly awkward.
     
Fallon's attempt at an interview came off more like a rip-off of the "Chris Farley Show" skit from Fallon's old show, "Saturday Night Live." Instead of asking questions of presumably one of the greatest actors of our time, Fallon found it more fun to do an impersonation of De Niro from the film "Taxi Driver." And for a follow-up? Fallon asked the six-time Oscar nominee and two-time winner if he wanted to do an impersonation of him.
     
Now look, it's a known fact that I don't find the so-called comedian very funny. But I'm willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. After all, it's his first show and De Niro is known for being a pretty dull interview. But come on, give a legend the respect he deserves. Don't put the guy in some stupid skit you wrote called "Space Train." (About an astronaut who is afraid to fly so...he... takes.... the.... train. Not kidding.)
     
So I'll give you a second chance, but be warned Jimmy Fallon, I've got my eyes on you.