Unlike a lot of women, I was never the type of girl that dreamed of the perfect wedding dress.
I had no idea where I'd get hitched, what colors I'd choose, let alone whether I'd wear a trumpet, mermaid, Grecian or ball gown style. Sweetheart or Queen Anne? Ivory or candlelight? What does all that mean?
In fact I was quite anti-wedding for several years, until I got engaged of course. Rather than gush about plans with my girlfriend, Cecilia and I made a silly pact to never wed. Bombarded with the question about upcoming marriage plans with our longtime boyfriends, we both vowed to be strong in solidarity and not let society pressure us to do it just 'cause we hit the ripe, old age of 25.
But as you probably know, even the best of friends break promises. Cecilia got engaged and married all in the same week in May at the age of 26. I finally decided I was ready for the big M in January and it took Tim (my bf) several months to ask.
So maybe that idea of resisting marriage, taking on someone else's last name and becoming the wifey type won't work out after all. I admit to always being open to compromise and most of my feelings changed when I realized my match had been at my side for the past seven years. (One fight remains to be duked out, though. He is still trying to convince me to take his name and it ain't gonna happen!)
So now that I'm one of those "brides to be," I've jumped in to the cliché with both feet. I broke down and bought two wedding magazines and here I am recording ridiculous wedding shows--"Wedding SOS," "Say Yes to the Dress," "Bridezilla" and the like--and finding that I'm one broke-ass biotch. How people spend $7,000 on one dress for one day that they will never wear again, is very much beyond my comprehension and compensation.
My man and I are simple folk. I'd like to think we got style, but not so much that we'd spend more than a few hundred bucks on our outfits for what I hope will be an awesome dance party. Of course now that I've typed that out, I'm sure there will be someone out there who probably can't comprehend me dropping $600 on a dress--so I apologize if I'm not thrifty enough... but that's my budget.
And so far it doesn't seem unreasonable. I found some pretty ones during my first foray into the kingdom of all things bridal on Friday, June 12. And it was hot. But not hawt in a good way. Those dresses are heavy, huge and hopped up on some serious steroids. Well, some of them anyway.
I accompanied Audrey Parente, one of my very sweet co-workers at The Daytona Beach News-Journal, for a business story on Doralynn's Bridal & Formal. She needed to profile a local business and coincidentally, I gotta find a wedding dress.
I had imagined my mom would need to be there for this milestone, because I know she'd really love and enjoy seeing her little girl all dolled up. But she's in Miami and gave me her blessing to go ahead without her. Despite being without her, I tried to channel her voice in the store, trying on gowns I didn't like that she might like and dresses that might look better on me than on the hangar.
Trying on wedding dresses is more difficult than I thought. Doralynn's store is small and cramped, but it has a ton of stock. Within minutes I grabbed hold of three dresses and could barely hold them up as I tried to drag them to the fitting room, (by the way, they barely fit into the fitting room, they were that big).
The first one I tried on was kind of old Hollywood style, or maybe Grecian. See how I've
learned the vocabulary? (I owe it all to those wedding magazines.) It was flowy and simple with a nice draped back and was the only one that didn't weigh more than a few pounds.
I liked it. And as soon as Doralynn propped that veil and tiara on my head, I couldn't believe it. It was freaky and exciting and mostly just, "holy cow!" (If you can imagine what that feels like!)
Staring at myself in the getup, I finally let myself get excited. I mean how often do you get to see yourself in an outfit like that?
It was pretty swanky, but it made me feel old and young at the same time. Some might say I'm still youthful and fresh at age 26, and yet I also feel that it's another important step into adulthood. (Yuck).
I don't know that marriage will be much different than my life with Tim now. I already make him do my taxes and we've been living in sin for like three years.
We know each other in ways that no one will ever understand. But there's one thing he has yet to grasp.
It will be the meaning of that dress. Whichever one I end up wearing, it will be unforgettable.
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Photos by Audrey Parente