This "micro-blogging platform" continues to infest the planet. More and more celebrities, regular folks and, I assume, even chimpanzees are posting "tweets" -- messages that can't exceed 140 characters at a time.
How do we know this? We've read this news in old-school "platforms" such as newspapers, where writing that exceeds 140 characters is still cherished. (By the way, if I were tweeting this column, I would have had to stop right before the word "chimpanzees.")
(By the way, if I were tweeting this column, I would have used "BTW" to indicate "by the way.")
How do we know this? We've read this news in old-school "platforms" such as newspapers, where writing that exceeds 140 characters is still cherished. (By the way, if I were tweeting this column, I would have had to stop right before the word "chimpanzees.")
(By the way, if I were tweeting this column, I would have used "BTW" to indicate "by the way.")
What would literature and history be like if Twitter had dropped upon humankind the moment when Eve plucked that apple?
Mary tweets Joseph, circa 0 B.C.: "Hey Joe! A miracle! It's a miracle! It's a miracle! It's a miracle! I'm pregnant! You'll never guess the father! You'll be so proud. It's ..."
Shakespeare tweets a play about a melancholy Dane: "Dad dead. Ghost acting a fool. Mom a B. Uncle Claud a butt. Opelia cute! 2BRnot2B! Whack Uncle. Yorick -- dude! Laertes -- dude? Outta here."
Herman Melville tweets a novel about a big fish: "Call me Ishmael. Call Ahab nut job. Call Ahab PO-ed. Pale whale ate leg. Queequeg-- dude w/ harpoon and some smokes. Need bigger boat!"
Sgt. Joe Friday interro-tweets ... er interrogates suspect on the old TV show "Dragnet": "Just the facts, ma'am."
The Beatles tweet the lyrics to their "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" album: "20 years ago friends help Sgt. Pepper. Lucy better w/ diamonds. Without home hole she's leaving. 64 kites Rita! Good morning, read news. O boy."
Francis Ford Coppola tweets the script for the movie "The Godfather": "Offer. Can't refuse. Bed dead horse head. Sonny fresh fish -- boom! Michael strictly business -- boom! Boom boom! Meet new boss, same as old boss."
Led Zeppelin tweets the lyrics to "Stairway to Heaven": "Gold glitters. Lady buying stairway. Hedgerow bustles. May Queen spring cleaning. Change road. Shadows tall. Rock rolls. She's buying stairway -- to heaven!"
Christopher Marlowe tweets his 16th century play "The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus": "Faustus bored. Summons devil. Cool! Sells soul. Cool! 'Devil, bring me a babe!' She's ugly! Trick pope. Uh-oh. Time's up. Bought stairway -- to hell!"
Existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre tweets his 1938 novel "Nausea": "Life sucks. I think I'm gonna throw up."
George Lucas tweets the script to the original "Star Wars" flick: "Death Star dude kidnaps princess. Cinnamon buns hair disturbs Force! Luke skywalks! Green Munchkin teaches Zen. R2D2! Sasquatch! Leia sis? Death to Death Star."
Seventh-century Japanese haiku poet Basho tweets a haiku:
Twitter hijacking
Haiku's brevity glory.
Pimp-slap all Tweet-heads.
Mary tweets Joseph, circa 0 B.C.: "Hey Joe! A miracle! It's a miracle! It's a miracle! It's a miracle! I'm pregnant! You'll never guess the father! You'll be so proud. It's ..."
Shakespeare tweets a play about a melancholy Dane: "Dad dead. Ghost acting a fool. Mom a B. Uncle Claud a butt. Opelia cute! 2BRnot2B! Whack Uncle. Yorick -- dude! Laertes -- dude? Outta here."
Herman Melville tweets a novel about a big fish: "Call me Ishmael. Call Ahab nut job. Call Ahab PO-ed. Pale whale ate leg. Queequeg-- dude w/ harpoon and some smokes. Need bigger boat!"
Sgt. Joe Friday interro-tweets ... er interrogates suspect on the old TV show "Dragnet": "Just the facts, ma'am."
The Beatles tweet the lyrics to their "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" album: "20 years ago friends help Sgt. Pepper. Lucy better w/ diamonds. Without home hole she's leaving. 64 kites Rita! Good morning, read news. O boy."
Francis Ford Coppola tweets the script for the movie "The Godfather": "Offer. Can't refuse. Bed dead horse head. Sonny fresh fish -- boom! Michael strictly business -- boom! Boom boom! Meet new boss, same as old boss."
Led Zeppelin tweets the lyrics to "Stairway to Heaven": "Gold glitters. Lady buying stairway. Hedgerow bustles. May Queen spring cleaning. Change road. Shadows tall. Rock rolls. She's buying stairway -- to heaven!"
Christopher Marlowe tweets his 16th century play "The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus": "Faustus bored. Summons devil. Cool! Sells soul. Cool! 'Devil, bring me a babe!' She's ugly! Trick pope. Uh-oh. Time's up. Bought stairway -- to hell!"
Existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre tweets his 1938 novel "Nausea": "Life sucks. I think I'm gonna throw up."
George Lucas tweets the script to the original "Star Wars" flick: "Death Star dude kidnaps princess. Cinnamon buns hair disturbs Force! Luke skywalks! Green Munchkin teaches Zen. R2D2! Sasquatch! Leia sis? Death to Death Star."
Seventh-century Japanese haiku poet Basho tweets a haiku:
Twitter hijacking
Haiku's brevity glory.
Pimp-slap all Tweet-heads.
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